There and then gone

time flies so fast.. she's gone.. the last memory i have of her is, she was talking to me, telling me how pretty & how responsible i am, eventho she can hardly speak.. she just got home from the hospital that time..

during her wake, i didn't cry coz i know that she is happy now, with GOD.. i have to be strong for her and for my mom.. i have to show them that im happy! but today, i just realized that im just trying to be strong for myself, coz i hate goodbyes, and i am not good at it..

knina is her last day.. i said i wont cry, i thought im strong enough, i was wrong.. tears kept falling.. i just cant believe she's really gone.. i cant accept that this will be the last time i'll ever see her.. nun nilalagay n xa s lupa, i keep thinking n bka mbasa xa ng putik, bka malunod xa.. there still this hope in my heart n bka buhay p xa, though its not possible..

its freakin' painful.. and i dont wanna ever feel this feeling again!

i got lots of memories of her.. i remember how she laughed while watching "wowowee", how she exercise her right arm when she got nothing to do, how she say "kaon na" to ask me to join her to dinner, how she calls for my mom everyday to get her off to bed and how she prays at night outloud to God.. i remember everything.. we used to have dinner together, she used to tell me stories about her life, and she always compliments me and my daughter..

i miss her..