Pregnancy

last night, i was watching "the tyra banks show" twas' about teen pregnancy.. there was a guest teen there who is trying to get herself pregnant.. she's only 14, i think! she said she want to get pregnant because she wanna have her own family, to be loved, because she thinks that her relationship with her mom is not that close.. the psychologist said that there is a connection why the teen is acting/feeling that way, she feels like only her baby can make her feel loved and since she dont have a close ties with her mom, she wanted to do exactly the opposite with her baby, but the thing is being a teen mom isn't easy, it requires a lot of energy that will make her so tired & consumed and will result for her to lack time for her baby.. and she will end up doing the same thing she swore not to do with her child..

after hearing that, i stopped and think.. i was like her 5 yrs ago, i tried to get myself pregnant because i felt like i am unloved because my parents we're so strict, and i just have to get out of there, and i thought having a baby will be the solution.. and yes i succeed! and now she's 4 years old, and she gives me unconditional love, she makes me feel sooo SPECIAL, she is the sweetest thing.. but the psychologist is right, its hard being a teen-mom.. sometimes i neglect her, or just screams at her when i am not in the mood, but she is still there, she still loves me, and she never get angry with me.. so i prayed, and realized that im not being a good mom to her, that she deserve so much better.. and i thank GOD because even if im like this she gave me my daughter who is still willing to accept me in spite of my weaknesses.. i wanted the best for her, and i definitely don't want her to think that i dont love her.. so the next day i hugged her so tight and told her how much i love her.. i spent the whole day with her..

that show is really an eye opener.. GOD made me watch that show for me to realize the things i should do and the things i should be thankful for.. :)